You’re Not Lazy—You’re JUST Dysregulated

Understanding Nervous System Regulation and Burnout from a Trauma-Informed Lense

When we talk about nervous system regulation, it might sound like a clinical term—but at its core, it simply means feeling safe enough to be present. Regulation isn't about always being calm or unaffected. It's about having the capacity to move through different states of stress and return to a state of grounded presence. It means your body has a sense of safety, and you feel capable of navigating life without becoming stuck in survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

A regulated nervous system allows you to:

• Connect with others without fear

• Rest without guilt or hypervigilance

• Think clearly and make decisions

• Feel emotions without being overwhelmed by them

• Be flexible and responsive rather than reactive

 For many trauma survivors, this can feel like foreign territory. If you grew up in chaos, unpredictability, or emotional neglect, your nervous system may have adapted by staying constantly alert or shutting down to survive. In those environments, it wasn't safe to be soft, curious, or relaxed—so your body never learned how.

How Can You Tell You're Dysregulated?

 You may feel:

• Anxious or restless

• Numb or spaced out

• Easily overwhelmed by small tasks

• Irritable or emotionally reactive

• Disconnected from your body

These symptoms often get mislabeled as laziness or a lack of discipline. But here’s the truth: you’re not lazy—you’re just dysregulated.

If you've ever felt like you just can't get things done—even things you want to do—it's easy to fall into self-judgment. You might think, "Why am I like this? Why can't I just do the thing?" The internal shame spiral begins.

But what if the issue isn’t laziness at all? What if you're not broken, unmotivated, or bad with time—what if you're just coping with an overwhelmed nervous system?

When your body perceives the world as unsafe (even subconsciously), it will prioritize survival over everything else. That includes cleaning, emailing, creating, or even getting out of bed. To your nervous system, those tasks aren't just "to-do" items—they are threats to your already fragile internal balance.

 Signs of Dysregulation That Look Like "Laziness"

• Executive dysfunction (knowing what to do, but feeling unable to start)

• Procrastination mixed with panic

• Chronic fatigue, even after rest

• Overwhelm at simple decisions

• Freezing up when it's time to act

These are not character flaws. These are symptoms of a system doing its best to protect you.

Gentle Ways to Support Regulation

Instead of pushing harder, try meeting your body with compassion and these somatic tools to reset and restore safety:

 1. Breath Awareness

• Box Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, pause for 4. Repeat.

• Slow Deep Breaths: Place a hand on your belly and breathe deeply in and out for 1-2 minutes. Notice how the breath feels.

• In-In-Out Circular Breathing: Inhale twice through the nose and exhale once through the mouth in a gentle, rhythmic pattern to soothe the nervous system.

2. Grounding Movements

• Gentle Rocking: Sit and gently rock your body forward and back or side to side to soothe and bring awareness to your center.

• Shaking: Shake out your hands, arms, legs, or whole body to release tension and pent-up energy.

• Stretching: Slow neck rolls, shoulder shrugs, or reaching overhead to increase circulation and connection to your body.

3. Sensory Tools

• Touch: Hold a soft object, place your hand on your chest or belly, or hug yourself. Physical touch stimulates safety.

• Sound: Hum a favorite tune, sigh audibly, or make a long “voo” sound to activate calming nerves.

• Temperature: Splash cool water on your face or hold a warm mug to create sensory grounding.

4. Mindful Awareness

• Name Your Feelings: Say out loud or write what you’re feeling without judgment. Labeling helps your brain regulate.

• Five Senses Check-in: Pause and name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.

• Safe Place Visualization: Close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel completely safe. Spend a few minutes there mentally.

5. Rest and Stillness

• Use a weighted blanket or cozy layers to provide comforting pressure.

• Lie down with eyes closed and soft lighting or nature sounds for 5-10 minutes.

• Practice “body scans” by slowly focusing attention on different parts of your body, noticing sensations without trying to change them.

6. Movement Breaks to Reset Productivity

• Stand up and shake for 30 seconds between tasks.

• Walk outside barefoot or notice your feet connecting with the ground.

• Use a timer to break tasks into 2-minute increments to gently engage without overwhelm.

Remember — Regulation is a Practice, Not a Destination

Your nervous system wants to feel safe. When it learns it’s safe, it can relax, connect, and even enjoy life. That doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stress or discomfort, but you will get better at moving through those states without getting stuck.

You’re not lazy. You’re healing. And with consistent, compassionate care for your body and nervous system, you can find your way back to feeling regulated, capable, and free.

Written by Violet Hartman

Violet is a trauma-informed practitioner and Certified Emotional Release Coach who offers intuitive and holistic services at Collective Dimensions. Guided by compassion and intuition, Violet’s work focuses on helping others find healing, clarity, and alignment through heart-centered, natural practices.